Refusal

B has been to two birthday parties in as many weeks and hasn't had a piece of cake at either.

And not because I told her she couldn't. It was quite the opposite. I told her the cake was ok to eat - safe in fact and to go ahead a dig in!

She wouldn't budge. She had a slice at each event in front of her but made excuses at each (my response? I ate the cake for her - what else was I to do?).

But why did she really refuse?

Was it her sixth sense? Fear?

I'm thinking the latter. I think she's stuck in between being polite to her host and being her own advocate.

My heart breaks that she even has to THINK about this stuff at the ripe old age of 5. That she worries an innocent piece of cake could do her in. Even one her mom says is ok.

I hope and pray she grows out of this.

Birthday Parties: Hosting a Child with Food Allergies

This came through my Google Alerts this morning and I thought it was a great article to share with you guys.

Tips to Plan a Safe Birthday Party when Inviting Children with Food Allergies.

Dina (founder of Beyondapeanut.com which you should all check out) did a great job of giving a rational list of why parents of allergic kids worry about sending their child to a birthday party and ways to alleviate the stress for both sides. I think that these tips actually carry over to play dates as well.

How do you guys approach parents throwing the party your child is invited to? Do you all stay at the party with your child? Or do you go? If you do, what made you feel comfortable in doing so?

Watching her back....

I thought I'd share a sweet story with you guys.

Over the weekend, we went to a birthday party for one of B's pals from school. It was a GREAT party - in a fabulous park, not too many kids, a great sunny day - but the best part was how wonderful her friends are.

When it came time to eat, all the kids sat down at a picnic table, got their plates and napkins, their juice boxes, and were presented with platters of sandwiches.

I'm sure you can guess what kind of sammie was included in the spread. Yup, PBJ.

But I'm not a parent who freaks out about PBJ's anymore. Only if my daughter actually eats one. There were wipes around, so I figured any kid who ate one could just wipe their hands and we'd be fine. Plus, these kids are older now, and much less messy. B goes to a school that allows PBJ's so she's around them all the time. I just don't stress about it anymore. I can't. This is just part of our life moving forward so we just need to deal.

So back to the party.

The birthday girl's dad was telling everyone what kind of sandwiches there were. He's such a nice guy, he apparently made the sandwiches, and he was so proud of them! He called out:

"Yummy Peanut Butter and Jelly!"

"Cream Cheese and Jelly!"

"Turkey and Cheese with NO Mayo or Mustard for the Kids!"

"Turkey with Mustard and Mayo and Lettuce for the Grownups!"

So the kids all sit there, trying to decide what they want, and negotiating with their parents about EXACTLY how much they need to eat before they can have cake.

And out of nowhere one little girl pipes up "We can't eat Peanut butter and Jelly - B is allergic!!!". And NOT ONE of the kids took a PBJ.

I could NOT believe it. My heart melted right there on the spot.

I hadn't said a word to anyone there about her peanut allergy. I just told B quietly that the sammies in front of her had the Peanut Butter but that she could have any of the others.

So the kids had turkey or cream cheese and jelly. And everyone got cake (with frosting!! and chocolate!!!)

Such solidarity. Without B even saying a word. Those little girls are good people.

Just so you know, the turkey sammies went fast. The sight of a bunch of grownups eating tiny little squares of PBJ was pretty funny.

Back, albeit briefly.

Bella turned 4 over the weekend and I am still recovering. We had a party for her with 20 (no that's not a typo) of her pals from school (and life) and threw a mini carnival that included carnival games, a bounce house, and a real-life popcorn machine (um, so I went a leeeetle overboard). We had a ball! Don't believe me? There are photos (and a video even) to prove it.

But I found myself on the other side of the fence so to speak. One of Bella's pals has a milk allergy and I wanted to make sure the party was absolutely safe for him. But I found myself perplexed as to what I could serve - everything seems to have milk! After a little research, I ended up serving fruit, pigs in a blanket (it's scary that 'buttery' crescent dough has no dairy in it), raisins, chocolate teddy grahams (nope, no milk in those either), and home made chex mix (i used oyster crackers instead of goldfish). His mother was SO appreciative - it was truly a time where he could wander around the party and she could talk to other moms without having to worry. At all. Isn't that cool? I'm so glad I could keep him safe and give her some peace of mind for a few hours (isn't that what all of us allergy moms want?).

The only place I failed was the cake. Due to a snafu with the bakery we use, there ended up being milk in the frosting and he couldn't partake. So what's a peanut free mama to do? Break out the ChocoBoom bars of course! I sent it home with him and his mom (I think she was a bit wary - she hadn't had one and I think we all know how yucky some of the allergen free treats are out there) but I got the seal of approval a few hours later when his mom told me that he tried it and declared it "Delicious. And it's yummy too!".

I'll be back to my regular (well, more frequent) postings soon. I'm still cleaning up from the festivities - I'm hoping I can finish the dishes before we hit the 1 week anniversary of the shindig. Wish me luck - I'll need it.

American Girl - Peanut Allergy Friendly!

As promised, here's a review of our recent trip to American Girl Place in Los Angeles (at the Grove). It's a bit long. I warned you.

First and foremost, I want to get one thing out of the way. Many of you probably know (if you have a little girl) about American Girl. Basically they are for girls 8+ and they cost (are you sitting down?) $90 each - no that's not a typo. And you can buy about 4 million outfits and accessories for them. They also make little babies for the 3+ set (that also - surprise - has all sorts of accessories for purchase). What a racket, huh?

Getting an American Girl doll is an investment that you need to keep adding to (if you want your kid to stop bugging you that is :->). I knew Bella was too young for an American Girl Doll, and I wasn't really excited to start the tradition, but since it was my niece's birthday, and they had the little babies Bella could get, I made an exception. With trepidation.

And you know what?

IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT!

The whole experience was so much fun, that it was worth having to hear Bella now tell me every day that she wants the double stroller, trundle bed, and pajama set for her new twins (yes, she got twins! but for the same price as one doll! she already knows how to spot a good deal!).

Getting to the Grove in LA is a total pain in the butt. BUT we made it (via a detour that fortuitously took us by the La Brea Tar Pits - cool!), got valet parking (this is LA, is there any other way to park?) and found the store.

My first impression - totally overwhelming - when you walk in you are hit with pure estrogen. This was a Saturday, so there were, oh, a few hundred girls in the store, all with high pitched voices running from display to display to see all the different dolls in their various outfits. And it was TWO stories. So basically you had to run all over the store, chasing your daughter to discuss the merits of Julie, a child of the 60's, vs. Molly, who's waiting for her dad to return from WWII. I mean, really, do you even have to think about it? BTW, the correct answer is Julie - she has better outfits.

Luckily, we made it to the area for the 3+ set and found the twins Bella really wanted (along with a double stroller that I REALLY didn't want to schlep home - I told her they were 'sending' it to us - I hope she forgets about it, but I doubt she will) and a few extra outfits for them. The staff there was great and so nice to the kids.

Once we had our dolls, we made our way to the cafe.

So the Cafe is apparently one of the hottest tickets in town right now, and you need to get your reservations in months in advance. If you even have an inkling that you want to go, make a reservation. I saw a few girls crying because their parents didn't make a reservation (because they didn't realize the popularity of the place) - that would really suck for you.

They have 3 seatings for lunch - expect to be there about 15 minutes before your seating. But don't worry, they have plenty of stuff for you to look at (err BUY) in the seating area.

Once you're in, the restaurant is a sea of hot pink and black (almost like the inside of an Eloise book). In addition to the number of people in your party, they ask you how many dolls you would like at the table. We had two (Bella left one of the twins in the bag), and they gave each a hook on chair so the doll could sit at the table along with a miniature teacup and saucer for each doll. They really work the tea party vibe in the room. So cute!

Now for what you guys really care about - the food. It's a fixed menu for $22 a person, which sounds like a lot, but included:

• cinnamon buns for each person (which were little and cute and tasty)
  
• fruit kabobs
• chips/veggies with spinach dip
• a main course that you choose (for both kids and adults - the choices were great, the portions were really big, and the food was great)
  
• dessert that consisted of a small flower pot filled with chocolate mousse with chocolate cookie crumbled on top, along with a sugar cookie. if you have a birthday party there, the flower pot is filled with peppermint ice cream and you get a slice of cake (chocolate and vanilla layers with white frosting).
  
• bottomless drinks like lemonade, juice, iced tea, etc. (non alcoholic, but if you wanted booze you had to pay for it).

None of the items they have there have peanuts or tree nuts, so you can rest assured that there are no issues with cross contamination from other items on the menu. Now, did I go in the back to see the labels of the items they use to see if there were warnings? NO. But I did get confirmation from the chef and manager that the only item that could possibly have suffered from cross contamination was the crushed chocolate cookies they sprinkly on the dessert (which would have occured at the facility where the cookies are made). The cake they serve for birthday parties (which we got along with the chocolate mousse dessert that comes with a standard meal) is also peanut free and nut free (and deemed safe from contamination by the chef). I felt 99.9% comfortable with the meal (I mean, come on, as a peanut allergy parent are you ever 100% comfortable when eating out?). It was so nice to be able to relax and eat and have fun with the girls, my sister-in-law, my brother, and my husband (yes, we made the men come with us :->).

And no allergic reactions made for a great time!

So, if you haven't figured out whether or not I would recommend a visit to the American Girl Place near you - I WOULD! It is such a girly experience that I am so glad we did together. Plus the fact that it is an allergy aware place puts it at the top of my list to visit again. Sure my credit card will hate me next month, but it's only m-m-m-m-oney, right? Gulp.

And we have Disneyland next month. Will it ever stop?

Added Bonus: We saw some stars (I guess) while we were there: Patricia Heaton and Jared Leto. Patricia Heaton was a teenie tiny cute thing and Jared Leto looked horrible and scruffy, both just as you'd expect.

A Peanut Free Birthday Party

So how does a PA 3 Year Old celebrate her birthday?

Well, if you want to do it right, you do it with:

• 12 friends (and their parents and some siblings)
• a bouncy house with a slide, ladder, and basketball hoop (whew!)
  
• a wiggles cd on continuous repeat
• lots of balloons
• a sandbox filled with hidden treasure to find (fake coins! and shells!)
• an art easel for bursts of artistic inspiration
  
• cupcakes with Elmo decorations
• dirt cups (quite possibly the most white trash food i've ever made - no offense to anyone out there - pudding+cool whip+oreos+gummi worms=heaven) here's the recipe. try it.
  
• goldfish!
• pretzels!
• sunchips!
  
• cheeze-it snack mix (i don't know what the little white balls in this mix are, but they might as well be crack to me)
  
• sliced apples (green + red)
  
• sliced melon
• veggies and dip
  
• fruitabu (thanks for the tip David!)
  
• juice boxes
• water
• lemonade
  
• wine and beer (for the grownups)
• kick a$$ goodie bags filled with: bubbles, candy necklace, fun-dip, tattoos (3 for each kid!), and a silly straw. ok, i know there are two super sugary treats in there, but hey - life is short!
  

I don't think we crammed enough into a two and a half hour party, do you?

One of the cutest things I did was portion out the snack mix and goldfish in these little containers (ironically called 'nut and party cups') to avoid what Mark calls "a big bowl of germs" (aka little hands rooting around in a bowl of snack mix) since we are entering cold and flu season.

Anyhoo - it was a ball. Once I get my act together, I'll post a shot or two of the festivities.

Peanutallergy.com

Anyone know what's up with peanutallergy.com's boards being down so long? I saw some rumblings last week about some unrest among posters - I hope they aren't down for good.

Let me know if you've heard anything!

Around here we're gearing up for someone's 3rd birthday (hmmmm, I wonder who?). There will be a bounce house! And sugar! And goodie bags! Oh my!

I'll post a peanut free party plan later this week....