Happy New Year

Most people attribute this quote to Buddha, but it's actually 
from a character in a Carlos Castaneda book.  
But still, it's true.

It's already 2014.

How did that happen?

I must say, some pretty awful stuff happened since I last blogged.  I was glad to see 2013 end.  The last three months were crapola.

My mom died on November 25th, just a couple of days before Thanksgiving.

October started innocently enough. I turned 44 and Bella turned 9.  We had a dinner to celebrate both on the 5th - my mom had gone in for testing the day before for what she thought was a GI issue.  She was concerned but not too worried.

She was diagnosed with cancer (affecting multiple organs, but originating in the colon they believe) the next Monday, October 7th, went through two rounds of oral chemotherapy, and ended up succumbing to the disease the evening of of Monday, November 25th.

So, 6 weeks, beginning to end.  It's still so surreal.

(This certainly isn't the way I was expecting her to go, the way I worried she would go.  Isn't that life though? The things you worry about don't ever really happen, do they?  It's the stuff that hits you on the side of the head that really take it clean off and shake you up.)

So....

She's gone.  And I'm devastated.  My father, her husband of over 50 years is too.  My brothers, sisters in law, nieces, nephew, and friends are as well.   She was quite a lady.

But I'm also thankful.

Thankful for the goodbye we were able to have.

Thankful she didn't suffer long.

Thankful for 6 weeks in which Bella and I (and Bella's dad, and my entire immediate family) were able to be with my mom and sit with her and talk with her and tell her we loved her, to tell her what she'd taught us and to thank her for being such a good mom.   How lucky were we to be able to do that?!?

Thankful I got to ask her questions about her life, go through her recipe book with her, hear her stories one last time, burning every moment in to my brain to celebrate her life beyond her passing.

And I'm thankful that I got to hear my mom tell me how she felt about me (my parenting style, my love life, etc.) and being thrilled to bits that it was all good.  That may sound a bit selfish, but having your mother tell you that after 44 years, that you're on the right track?  It just feels great.  What a tremendous gift!

I still want my mom back.  So badly.

There's just never enough time.

She's always with me though.  I heard her talking to me over my shoulder when I was making Christmas dinner.  Spooky, but true (to me at least).  I hope it wasn't the last time.

I guess that's all I wanted to say.

Peace and love to you all in the new year - love each other (even if you're mad at someone, take a stab at forgiving them) because life truly is too short.  I've already taken my own advice and have begun to patch up some broken relationships hurt during my divorce.  It feels good.

xoxo
G

p.s.  PLEASE get preventative testing done if you can.  push your doctors for you to stay on track with mammograms, colonoscopies, whatever.  own your health as fiercely as you own your or your child's food allergy safety.  please.

Fall!

Hi Everyone!  Long time no blog, right?  I wont even bother apologizing for not blogging over the summer (what's the point - you know I still love you guys, right?) - life just, well, HAPPENS.  I take it as a good sign that I only have time to post bits and bobs on Facebook (if you don't follow me over there, please join me - you'll see much more Peanut Free content that way).

Here's a small glimpse into what's going on in our lives right now:

School
B started 4th grade!  I can't believe it - 4th grade.  She starts middle school next year (yup, our district has middle school 5th through 8th grade and the whole idea of it makes me insane), so I'm just enjoying my little girl. The big changes this year are that she doesn't carry her epinephrine to the playground any more (her principal takes all the kids epis in a cooler each day to the yard) AND she's not sitting at the peanut free table anymore.  She was really starting to feel self conscious, and since she isn't airborne reactive, we are trying out her sitting at the regular tables with a buffer.  All of her classmates have known her for years, so they instinctively know not to sit next to her if they have peanut butter in their snack or lunch.  It's been working out great so far, and she feels less like the 'allergy kid'.

Anxiety
Along with school came B's anxiety.  BIG TIME.  She's just a creature of habit, and the beginning of the school year always brings a lot of anxiety until she's settled.  That, coupled with her existing anxiety over her food allergies makes it challenging!  How are you all dealing with anxiety??  We are lucky in that B's teacher is so supportive and helpful - don't know what we'd do without her!

Birthdays
Speaking of B, her birthday is next month (the day after mine!) and we are throwing a Candy themed party for her at her dad's house.  So fun!  I have a Pinterest board full of ideas - cannot wait to get all crafty!  p.s. you can follow me on Pinterest if you want - I have an allergy board too as well as all sorts of random things.

Enjoy Life Decadence Bars
The fine folks at Enjoy Life sent us a box of each of their new Decadence Bars.  Holy cow they are awesome!!  B's favorites, in order, are:

• S'mores
• Cinnamon Bun
• Cherry Cobbler
• Chocolate Sunbutter

I tried them myself and every flavor is DELICIOUS (and I'm not just saying that) and the textures are great.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, you really cannot go wrong with this brand.  The care they put into their product development is outstanding and so apparent when you taste their products.

Thank you so much to Enjoy Life!

Mondo Beyondo
This is a personal one for me.  I'm taking an online class called Mondo Beyondo and I'm just loving it.  This is my second time and it's even better this time around.  I highly recommend Andrea's classes.  They really just help let your dreams out so you can make them a reality!  No affiliate links or ads here, just my personal opinion.

Halloween
B has asked for a day costume and an evening costume (jeez, what did I agree to??).  Each year, B goes out trick or treating, gets all the candy she wants and then we either trade out unsafe candy for safe candy or she leaves the majority of it out for the Halloween Fairy and gets a treat in return (usually a small lego set or something equivalent). The funny thing is that she's a candy hoarder.  I still have a bag of her halloween candy in the freezer from last year! I should probably throw that out LOL...

Love
I'm still seeing the same guy. He's still traveling around constantly for work but his home is here with me and for that I am extremely grateful. Life is GOOD! :-)

Hope you are all doing great too.  Please do join me over on Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter.  I love interacting with you all and seeing what you're all up to!

Gabs

Peanut Allergy: Life Lists?

Do you guys keep a life list?  I do, and I'm tempted to share it here - would that be weird? I don't think there's one thing about food allergy on there.

Maybe I'll be brave and post it, we'll see.

For now, here's something I couldn't pass up.

The Things We Forget Blog

The last year has been ALL about this, trust me.

Too cute.

Happy Thursday, everyone!

Gabs
xxoo